


Danganronpa: De Facto Carnage

by drdefacto



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fan Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, Multi, funky cast of new characters, it is ALMOST like dr2's setting but its not. its not dr2. please its not dr2 plea, it will be sad, its set in a ghost town, murder Will Happen, oh man its a fanganronpa!, we r not using monokuma boys. its our own brand new mascot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drdefacto/pseuds/drdefacto
Summary: The town of Nozogaido has, by all means, never existed. It has never been found on any map, nor has it ever been in any travel guide of Japan. But clearly there's something that's wrong with that, because when Alistair Piotrowzki wakes up in said town, they  quickly come to find it is *very* much existing. And when they find that the streets are eerily quiet and empty, they realize there's something wrong with that too. But they're not alone. There's fifteen other students on that tiny island, and, perhaps, something else is there too, lurking until the time is right. And that thing has dastardly plans.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Danganronpa: De Facto Carnage

**Author's Note:**

> there are small mentions of underage alcohol and drug consumption in this chapter-- there's a content warning in the part that they appear, so if you're sensitive to those things, please look out for that!

The lights hanging from the impossibly high ceilings were bright and sweltering with an undesirable heat, the feeling of their thick and stiff-fabriced uniform feeling heavy on their skin. They rolled over onto their back and groaned with displeasure, moving a hand over their eyes to shield them from the light. 

After a moment of discomfort, they decided to get up, looking around at the area. They saw lines of vacant chairs stretched for seemingly as far as they could see. Where were they? Or, perhaps the better question: _who_ were they? They had to navigate the hallways of their mind for a second, searching for an answer. _Who, who, who…_ Oh, they were Alistair Piotrowski, of course. Alistair Piotrowski, the sixteen year old Progeslavian who had beaten all of the odds and become East Europe’s best pilot--breaking all previously known records in the small European country. Among their five hundred colleagues back home, only twenty graduated, and from there, only three went to pursue a military career of piloting. Alistair was one of those three, and was the first pilot to ever fly past 3,700 kilometers per hour. 3,717.3 kilometers per hour, to be exact. That was what landed them in the eyes of a certain Japanese academy.

As they were mulling around in their own thoughts, piecing together their identity, something outside of the large wall of windows stole their eye. They recognized it almost instantly as a Boeing 737, a short commercial airplane, with oddly enough, both of its twinjets removed. They were in an airport then, clearly, but what had they been doing here? Who disassembled that plane? Why was their memory so hazy…? They wanted answers, and they wouldn't get them by just idly standing in this place, so they started to explore the rest of the airport.

Alistair noticed on their exploration that, despite this airport's size, they seemed to be the only person in it at all. They couldn't find an exit, nor any signs that could guide them to one. On their attempts to locate doors to the outside, they saw that this airport was situated on a tiny island, with a large number of high chain-link fences cutting through it. Alistair thought the best course of action, exiting the airport and stepping into the bright sunlight. They shielded their eyes with their hand until they got used to the increased brightness. However, once they finally got to look around the area, something...odd became apparent to the pilot. There was not only no one in the airport, but as far as they could see, there was no one in the _town_ either.

* * *

Daichi Sugaku woke up with a stinging pain in his head. It took him a moment to process where, or even who he was, but it came to him rather fast. Raising his head quickly, he tried to adjust his eyes to the light of the unfamiliar room around him. However, he noticed that he..couldn’t really see anything. Trying to grasp anything around him that might help, he was able to grab a pair of glasses, oddly placed neatly in front of him on the table. Putting them on, Daichi quickly saw that they were most definitely meant for him, the room around him becoming clear almost instantly. He was slumped over in a black spinnable chair made of leather, sitting in front of a shiny wooden desk. Atop it was a few papers and a computer, some pencils and clipboards. Straight ahead were a pair of fanciful framed doors that led outside. 

He got up out of his chair, struggling for a moment when he did. It felt like he'd been asleep for 23 years and his muscles had become weak and atrophied. He knew it would take 23 years exactly to feel the way he did, he was good with numbers like that. After all, being an Ultimate Statistician meant he had to be good with numbers. He focused on the question at hand, which was _where exactly was he?_ The last thing he remembered was taking the flight to Hope's Peak Academy, the school he had just been accepted to for his extraordinary talent at finding, memorizing, and interpreting statistics. Hope's Peak Academy was one of the most prestigious high schools in the world, built to cultivate the talents of incredible teenagers like himself. But… he couldn't remember getting off that flight. Had he ever taken the flight at all? His memory was usually on point, so how come it was so fuzzy at a time like this?

He looked around the room and walked towards the doors, peering outside for a moment. It looked like he was in a ghost town-- across from where he was, which he could now tell was a town hall by the big, glorious front, was a few houses and a restaurant. What struck him as odd, though, was the large chain-link fences that seemed to rise about 32.5 meters high off the ground that surrounded the part of this island town he was in. What was the purpose of those? Doesn't that just make this town less accessible and more difficult to navigate? The thought nagged him as he stepped back inside to the sound of things crashing to the ground. He quickly followed the noise of the sound and came to the mayor's office. 

At this moment, he felt unusually hesitant. What if something bad was behind this door? He couldn't figure out the likelihood of him regretting opening it, and that scared him. However, he apparently didn't need to, because the door opened before he could do it himself, and on the other side stood a tall, tan-skinned person, with long reddish purple hair, a rather punk-looking outfit, and a surgical mask covering their mouth. They were exactly 2 inches taller than Daichi, and as they noticed his presence, they pulled down their mask and smiled at him.

"Hello, friend. Care to tell me what I was doing trapped behind a bookshelf in the office of whoever _Kirabashi Hatsuro_ is?" Their smile was… off. Yes, it looked friendly, but their eyes felt completely empty. And what were they doing, calling Daichi their 'friend'? He didn't even know this guy.

"Ah, Mr. Hatsuro must be the mayor here, if this is the mayor's office. But you said you were trapped behind a _bookshelf…_?" Daichi backed up and pushed his glasses further up his face, tilting his head at their sentence.

"Yep. Woke up squished between the wall and the bookshelf. Isn't that a rather strange place to wake up?" They swung the door open, revealing that the office had been completely turned over. A bookshelf had fallen over, and its contents were spilled across the floor. 

"It is, you are correct. I guess I was luckier… 246 seconds ago, I woke up at the front desk. Say, you look like you are in your adolescence. Are you also a student at Hope's Peak Academy?" Daichi looked at them in a stiff stature. Something about their presence made him feel uncomfortable.

"Wow, isn't that just peachy? I guess you're right," They put a hand to their hip. "I'm Rajasi Hasheesh, the Ultimate Doctor. It's pretty coincidental we both woke up here, isn't it?"

Daichi gave them an inscrutable gaze and began speaking. "I'm Daichi Sagaku, the Ultimate Statistician. It is good to meet you, and no, it can't be coincidental. The probability of two Ultimates being in the same place at the same time by complete accident is less than 0.00000023 percent. Well, if we were to account for regional discrepancies and the age similarities, then it'd be more like--"

Rajasi grinned again, and cut him off. They were _not_ going to listen to his psychotic number ramblings. "That's a pretty big statistic you just pulled out of your a-- _brain_ , friend," They stepped out of the office and looked down the hallway. "If it's not by complete accident, then what is it?" They walked down the hallway in long, confident strides, Daichi noticed. Everything about this Rajasi person seemed premeditated, like they could see leagues into the future and were already aware of the outcome that could best lead to their fortune. Their smugness was something that part of Daichi wished to emulate. Rajasi twisted the knob of a door at the very end of the hall, labeled 'Conference Room’. From his angle, Daichi couldn’t see into the room, but he saw Rajasi’s face contort into a confused grin. Their confusion didn’t hinder their poise, at least not by much-- he would’ve compared it to a vase with the tiniest sliver of a crack on its edge, if anything.

“What’s there?” Daichi said, pushing up his glasses.  
“The better question would be _who’s there,_ friend,” Daichi picked up on their usage of the word ‘friend’ a lot, and it bothered him. Something about the way they said it felt dripping with rancor. “Some little lady’s all passed out over a row of collapsible chairs,” They looked back at Daichi, their expression totally blank this time.

Daichi hastened his pace and made it over to Rajasi, peering into the so-called conference room. A girl with pink hair pulled into elaborate dual pigtails was, in fact, sprawled out on a row of chairs. She wore a red and yellow striped sweater and a blue pleated skirt that reached down to her knees. She looked much more put-together than Rajasi over there, Daichi mused to himself. He was glad, at the very least-- he worried that all of his classmates would be like them, dirty and unorganized. Not to say that he didn’t like Rajasi, but… More than one of them would be draining.

“Do you think I should kick her to wake her up?” Rajasi leaned over to Daichi and put a hand on their hip. Their foot twitched, like they’ve been eager to kick something this whole time.

“I recommend that you do not-- there is a 53% chance you could hurt her based on your body mass compared to hers, and a 78% chance that you could elevate her heart rate to unnecessary levels,” But Daichi’s pleas were no use. Rajasi slammed their foot into a folding chair, kicking it backwards, into the next row beyond. The sound of metal resonated throughout the room, surely loud enough to wake the girl up. And wake up she did, by hitting her head against the back of the chair. 

“...Huh?” She mumbled, adjusting her eyes to the bright lights. She looked like a deer in the headlights as she pushed herself upright and stared wildly between Daichi, then Rajasi, then Daichi, then Rajasi, then back again over and over. “Where am I? Who--” she rubbed her eyes and yawned, “Who are you?”

Rajasi strided up to her and held out a hand, “Name’s Rajasi Hasheesh, friend. I bet you’re just as confused as us, aren’t you?” She took their hand a little hesitantly. Daichi could tell Rajasi’s grip was a bit too tight, and held for a bit too long-- Daichi was a professional, cordial young man, so of course he was a master of handshakes.

Onyomi let go, and put a hand to her head. "Um-- I'm…I'm Onyomi Kawaguchi. _Sí_ , I'm confused…"

Daichi cut into the conversation, fixing his glasses and speaking up in his slightly nasally voice. "We seem to be in a town hall of sorts. This room we're in is a conference room, I woke up at a front desk, and Rajasi woke up in the mayor's-- Kirabashi Hatsuro's-- office. If you don't mind me asking, do you have an Ultimate?" Of course, Daichi already knew the answer. There were already two Ultimates, so who's to say there isn't another?

"Oh!" She exclaimed, then got up from her chair. She did a small bow to the both of them, and then started, "I'm the Ultimate Translator. I’m fluent in, um,” She tapped the side of her head, trying to recall, “40 different languages. B-but it’s no big deal, really, I just have a good memory,” she shook her head.

Daichi looked bewildered. “40 different languages? Only 3% of the population is multilingual like that,” he pushed up his glasses again, “And even further, less than 1% can speak _fluently_ in four or more languages,” he paused for dramatic effect, then continued again, “That is certainly impressive, miss.”

“...Hah--,” Onyomi looked uncomfortable, “Um, thank you, I guess... Like I said, it isn’t a big deal,” She grabbed her sleeve with her arm, staring down at her feet.

Rajasi entered back into the conversation. “I’m the Ultimate Doctor,” they flashed a grin, then gestured their hand to Daichi, “and he’s the Ultimate Statistician, but you’ve been able to tell that already, haven’t you, friend? He certainly likes to show it off.”

“Excuse me, what’s that supposed to mean?” Daichi shriveled up his nose, scrutinizing their words. 

“Don’t worry about it, friend. It’s a compliment,” Rajasi put a hand on his shoulder, then shook their head. “So what do we do now? We need to find more about where we are and why we’re here, don’t we?”

“да,” Onyomi said, still slightly nervous. “But, um, how exactly do we do that?” She tapped her head with a single finger, trying to brainstorm.

“Well, clearly, we need to leave this place, then look around. Based on statistics, I don’t believe we’d be the only three people here-- Perhaps we can find someone who knows more than we do,” Daichi suggested.

Rajasi groaned. “Let’s get to it then. Doesn’t do us much good just standing around here, only _talking_ about what we’ll do, does it, friends?” And with that, Rajasi walked out of the conference room, not waiting for even a second for the other two’s responses. Daichi trailed behind them, and behind him was Onyomi, with a dazed look on her face.

“Hey, um--” Onyomi’s voice was soft and quiet as she tapped Daichi’s shoulder, peering into the window of the seafood restaurant. They had only walked a few yards away from the town hall, to the left, where a (very extravagant) seafood restaurant cheesily named Clammy’s Crawfish Café had been built. Onyomi’s eyes were drawn to the fish-shaped window, from where she could see two people passed out at a booth. One, a young-looking boy with orange hair that jutted out of his head like a firework and a mask over his eyes, wearing a tank top and a dark red cape; the other, a slim kid of similar age with flowing tawny-colored hair, a scarf wrapped around his neck adorned with flowers, and a vest and frilly undershirt. "I think, I think I..." her voice was but a peep, but the tap was enough to get Daichi's attention towards the window. 

"Ah… There are people in this restaurant!" He exclaimed, and Rajasi turned towards the building, hands in their pockets.

"So it appears, friends," A grin grew upon their face. "Open the door, why don't you?" Rajasi said, just more than a foot away from the entrance, while the others were farther behind them.

Without thinking, Onyomi said, "Sure can do!" with a pleasant smile, already pushing her hands against the glass double doors. She knew Rajasi was more than capable of doing it on their own, but her need to feel helpful took over her function. The door creaked open and the bell rang, and the boy with firework hair's eyes immediately jolted open.

"Stop right there, trespasser!" He held his hand out in a stop motion, practically floating out of his seat in the booth in the process. Even though he had only awoken seconds ago, his face was awake and alert, like he was on his sixth cup of coffee. "Don't you know who I am?" He put his fists to his hips and let out a laugh. "I am the legendary Kirisuto Han, protector of the weak, savior to the harmed, and bringer of justice! So for you to just barge into my sleeping quarters like… thi…" He looked around mid-sentence and quickly realized that he was in a strange and unfamiliar place. "...New statement! Stop right there, _kidnappers!_ How dare you take me from my restful sleep and think so foolishly that I wouldn't go down without a fight!" 

Daichi and Onyomi stood completely still, unable to move out of shock, but Rajasi waved their hand and flashed their signature smirk. “We aren’t the kidnappers, friend. We’re the kidnappees just like you are. At least, that’s what we believe.”

Kirisuto’s glare was just as sharp as before, but at the very least, he let his shoulder slouch and his arms fell to his side. “Explain yourself, then! Identify yourselves! Who is this young man that I was sitting across from just a moment ago? I demand answers so that I can properly save us all from this woe!”

Daichi stepped forward before Rajasi could speak again. Something about them made him uneasy, and he wasn’t going to let someone like that speak for him. “I am Daichi Sugaku, the Ultimate Statistician. Based on what you like to boast about yourself, you must be some sort of public defender," he crossed his arms and tapped his foot. This guy was _loud--_ the kind of loud that made his ears ring and his teeth grit, because all he wanted was silence. He looked to Onyomi, but… Her mouth stayed shut. Was she okay? Why was she so hesitant to talk? "And this is Ms. Onyomi Kawaguchi," he motions a hand to her. 

"Ciao, I'm the Ultimate Translator," she gave a soft smile with her hands behind her back.

"Rajasi Hasheesh's my name," Rajasi said with a cocky look on their face, "I'm a licensed doctor, friend. My _other_ friends here and I--"

"Woke up in the town hall of sorts," Daichi butted in, much to Rajasi's chagrin. "From the looks of it, we must be on some town-island. I would estimate this place to be about," he put a finger to the bridge of his nose, "2.6 miles in diameter, in total. However, why we are congregated in this abandoned municipality has yet to be discovered." He could feel Rajasi staring daggers into him, but as soon as he cast a glance at them, their expression changed into one of false innocence.

"Well!" Kirisuto pulled a staff from behind his back, slamming its end down on the ground. "I don't know how trustworthy any of you are yet--" he points the stick at them and scrunches up his nose, "But I, as a destined hero, will do my best to figure out what's going on!" In that moment, he must've raised his voice too loud, because the boy who once sat across from him with the intricate scarf immediately shot up.

"...Quoi?" He mumbled, holding the beret on his head like it might fall off. "Ah… Please do not shout so loudly, monsieur, I must get my beauty sleep," the first thing Daichi noticed about him was his heavy French accent, coating his sentences like confectioners' sugar on a pastry. 

"Your beauty sleep is hardly important!" Kirisuto shouted and tossed his staff into his other hand, now pointing it at the sleepy French boy. "We've been taken from our homes, but our kidnappers are nowhere in sight! Although I cannot be sure you aren't a slimy criminal too!"

The boy put his hands up in the air in fright. "Non, non," he shook his head nervously, "I… ah," he trailed off, now more bewildered by the scenery around him, "I did not realize I was, how you say, taken? Je m'appelle Pierre Lamareé, please, I am no _criminel._ " 

Daichi had no indication the boy was lying. "Mister Lamareé, I can be 89% certain that you're--"

Before Daichi could finish, Rajasi interjected and introduced Pierre to themself and the others. Payback, it seemed, for earlier when Daichi cut them off. As they spoke, he noticed how their pronunciations were slightly off-- they weren't a native Japanese speaker, clearly. 

"Ah, so we are all Ultimates, oui? How fantastical. I am a film director myself," He smiled and put a hand to his chest. "It is lovely to meet you all, mes amies _._ ” Pierre dropped his hand, a sense of pride seeming to come from him from his introduction alone, and it was obvious from how he carried himself that he took his work very seriously. 

“‘Mes amies’? Is that some sort of code word? A code word for a _crime?_ ” Kirisutio interjected, swinging his staff between Pierre and the others. “Well, I will set the record straight right here and right now, I, Kirisuto Han, the savior of Tokyo, will find whatever you are up to and crush it like I crush the hopes and dreams of criminals every day!” He gave a hearty laugh. The whole thing seemed straight out of an action movie to Daichi, who looked over to Onyomi for some sort of solace, her seemingly the only person in the room that had even a dab of sense. He _could_ ask Rajasi what they believed about the whole thing, but felt he might get some convoluted or cryptic answer he didn’t feel like decoding. Onyomi only replied to Daichi with a confused shrug-- not even she knew what was going on, but she seemed much less bothered by the whole thing than Daichi.

“Non monsieur… ?” Pierre interjected, a look of confusion (and almost irritation, Daichi noted) on his face. “Mes amies simply means ‘my friends’ where I am from..c’est français, oui?” The Film director glanced back over to Kirisuto, feeling a bit stiff before the Hero’s body language seemed to open up more, showing he felt no threat towards the frenchman. 

“Well, in that case, consider yourself spared!” Kirisuto flashed a pearly white grin before it quickly dropped. “For now.” He finished, Pierre feeling a chill run up his spine as he looked down at the boy. He was… much smaller than him, but seemed to be much more brawny--not to mention he had a weapon, so Pierre decided he’d be better to steer clear of making him upset for the time being. 

“Ah...what a delightful person you are, monsieur.” Pierre said quickly, letting out a sigh of relief and giving Kirisuto a small, professional closed lip smile. 

“Now friends..” Rajasi interjected between the two, their hands extended with their palms facing up. “Should we check the _rest_ of the island? It can't be only us, can it?” They suggested, the others pondering the thought before hesitantly nodding in agreement. 

* * *

_(tw: mentions of underage alcohol and drug consumption in the 20th paragraph)_

“Turmeric… Cumin… Rosemary… ” A boy with faded green hair and an equally verdant outfit spoke to himself, looking at the shelves of a nearby diner, a few turns down from Clammy’s Crawfish Café. Orpheus had been awake for a while now, and after taking a few moments to come to his senses, realized that he had a stinging headache. His small and pointy witch-like hat bobbed up and down as he examined the different spices and herbs the dinner had to offer on its shelves, a small jingle-bell sewn to the end noting his movements.

While examining the area he was in, he noticed a pint sized girl, wearing a yellow and green jacket at least four sizes too large for her and clearly worn and dirty, and with a long mop of black hair put up in buns sprawled out on the floor in front of the counter. Figuring that he’d save her the decency of one, waking up on the floor and two, having the same splitting headache as he did, he had moved her into one of the booths, lying her head carefully on the table before going to his current endeavor of finding the spices and herbs he needed for a suitable headache medicine. Adorning the shelves were things usually used for cooking and garnishing dishes, but with the sight of ginger, the boy’s ears perked up. “Ah… ginger…!” He bent down to grab it, the bell jangling with him. Usually these were used for things such as motion sickness or nausea, but it was nothing Orpheus Antonis, the Ultimate Herbalist couldn’t handle. He gripped the small jar of ginger before standing up, grabbing a bowl and a wooden spoon to act as a sort of make-shift mortar and pestle. 

Taking an occasional glance at the girl passed out at the booth, Orpheus emptied enough ginger for the two of them, while still working through the nagging headache. He glanced around, deciding to take in his surroundings while he grinded up the ginger in the bowl. 

A few plates left on the tables… a stove… a few stray menus, an opened bottle of Tylenol, silverware..wait a minute, an open bottle of Tylenol?

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Orpheus’ eye twitched as he averted his gaze back to the bowl quickly before groaning and grabbing the pill bottle, chucking it across the room, not paying attention as it rolled underneath one of the booth seats. There was no way in the nine circles of Hell that he would be caught, dead or alive, resorting to using such an unclean medicine. Who knows what kind of toxic ingredients could be in those grimy pills. He finished grinding up his concoction of the well-known root and slid a pot of hot water onto the stove, patiently waiting for it to boil. 

To most, it would be strange for the first thing you wanted to do when waking up in an unidentifiable place would be treating your headache instead of investigating, but that’s just the way Orpheus was. He didn’t take time to bother with worrying about his situation unless there was a _reason_ to worry. He felt he was fine at the current moment, figuring that if the pint sized girl was his captor then… she was doing a pretty bad job of it. Once the pot of water had reached a boil, he poured the grounded ginger into it, hoping the makeshift headache medicine might be good for something. After letting the boiling water simmer down into a drinkable temperature, he poured it into two mugs, one being for himself. To him, the steam itself was enough to release some of the tension from his head, though he couldn’t say the same for others. He spent the next half hour or so taking sips from the hot concoction and taking small paper covered straws, taking half of the paper off and blowing into the straw, sending the other half of the paper flying towards the sleeping girl. Orpheus figured she’d _have_ to wake up at some point, and thought it might be courteous to wait. 

Orpheus also took the time to ponder _where_ exactly he was. When he first woke up, it wasn’t all too startling for him, a diner. Sure it was weird waking up somewhere random, but it wasn’t like he had woken up in a dungeon or anything of the sort. However, the more he looked around and processed his situation, the more strange it became. No one was in the dinner, yet the lights had been on when he woke up. That, and the gas seemed to be functioning too since he had turned the stove on. Dirty plates adorned tables with silverware atop them, as if everyone had just..up and left. Orpheus gripped the other mug and placed it in front of the girl before walking over to one of the foggy windows, wiping it off with his sleeve. The streets were empty too, wind blowing through the trees giving the whole place a hollow feeling. Orpheus began to question what was happening, backing up from the window before returning to the booth, sitting across from the girl, grabbing a spare napkin and pen before beginning to doodle down his thoughts about what was happening in messy cursive. Usually he would take the time to actually write in print, but he had too many thoughts he needed to get out to focus on each, tiny individual letter. Once he had finished, Orpheus gripped the napkin, wadding it up and stuffing it into one of his pockets. It wasn’t but a few moments after he finished the girl then began to stir in her sleep, Orpheus quickly taking note and pushing the mug closer towards her. 

The girl must have woken up with the same stinging headache Orpheus had, as she began to rub her temples as soon as she was able to. “Youch… ” She grumbled groggily, finally opening her eyes and being bombarded by the smell of ginger filling her nostrils. She looked down to see a piping hot cup of tea waiting for her, and by extension saw Orpheus, seated neatly across from her, his head resting in his palm.

“Oh, you’re awake… ” He gave a relaxed smile. “That’s ni--”

“Who are you…!” He was interrupted abruptly by the girl, who had jerked awake so quickly, a pair of round, red tinted and almost goggle-like glasses fell from her forehead and onto her face, to which she promptly pushed up back to their original place. The girl’s face scrunched, as if she was puzzling something serious before she seemed to have an epiphany of sorts. “Hey, wait a sec, stranger--” she scrunched up her nose at him, “Pointy hat, weird garb, strange colored hair… You’re like… a witch or a nymph or somethin’! Am I right?” The girl grinned, looking half-ready to pat herself on the shoulder like she made some sort of ground-breaking discovery. “Though _actual_ witches, like people practicin’ Wicca, don’t really go around wearing such stupid stuff like you are,” Orpheus felt a pang of sadness in his heart at her offhanded insult, “So it’s more likely you’re some kinda forest spirit. And what is this, anyway? Coffee? No, can’t be coffee, doesn’t smell like it, it’s got more of a leafy aroma… Gross.” She stuck her tongue out and crossed her arms at the thought of drinking the not-coffee. “But lemme cut to the chase! like I said earlier, pal, care tellin’ me who you are?” She had a hand on her bright red circular glasses, ready to flip them down over her face at any second.

“Oh, me?” Orpheus cupped a hand around his face, looking as calm as ever. “I’m Orpheus. Orpheus Antonis, the Ultimate Herbalist, that is. That not-coffee in front of you is a cure for headache, ginger tea. Trust me, it’s a lot better for you than coffee,” he eyed the cups of tea that sat in front of the two of them respectively, on each end of the table.

“Yeah, alright, pal,” The girl took the cup in her gloved hand, very, very carefully lifting it up to her face, making like she was going to drink it, until she slammed it back down on the table and gave a smug-sounding laugh. “As if! I don’t trust ya enough to take even a single, eeny meeny sip of this. This could be poison! Made from nightberries out of a bush right outside this very,” She squinted her eyes at the room around her, “...Eating establishment? Yeah, probably. That isn’t the point though, fella! You gotta prove your trustworthiness for me to take a sip’a this and cure my achin’ headache.” This time, she really did flip the glasses over her eyes-- and suddenly they were tinted a brilliant red, giving her an almost bug-like look to her.

“Well, I think I should know your name first, mystery girl,” Orpheus let out a soft laugh, his head falling further into his palm.

Tao let out a, “Ha-!” before crossing her arms, a big grin on her face. “And why should I tell you? What if you enter my information into some weird..druid database?” She bantered, Orpheus beginning to question if this was some elaborate joke.

“Hm, well you’re trustworthy, aren’t you?” He commented with the same, calm smile. “Alright then, here.” He reached over the table and grabbed the girl’s mug, taking a sip from it, making sure she saw he swallowed. “See? I’m not dead, or dying, or ill.” He wiped the rim of the mug off before placing it back in front of her.

For what felt like hours put was likely only a minute or so, Tao lifted the cup up and shook it around, inspecting it, tapping on the ceramic with her fingers-- then she slammed her hands on the table and leaned over to Orpheus with cold, unblinking eyes behind those glasses of hers. She looked him up and down, and mumbled, "Your eyes look normal, no sortsa weird things goin' on around there," She then retracted back to her seat and stared down at the table. "...Tao," She said, barely a whisper.

"What'd you say? I couldn't hear you," Orpheus questioned, a wry smirk on his face.

"Tao-Yi Huang... Ultimate Cryptozoologist. That's my name, pal, don't you forget it!" Tao spoke up much louder than before, then took the cup and chugged it like she was trapped in the desert for weeks.

Orpheus couldn't help but laugh at Tao's antics, which she must have taken the wrong way, because she immediately gave him the stink eye, saying in a low voice, “What’re you laughin’ at?”

"Nothing, nothing," He smiled, running a hand through the hair that poked out from beneath his long, witchy hat. "Just think you're funny, is all. Good company to have," his gaze flickered down to the left as he started contemplating how she even became his company at all. What kind of situation was he in right now? It was probably no big deal, if the events of these past few minutes gave him any insight. Perhaps he just had a particularly bad hangover that made him lose his memory. Yeah, that was it, he was nigh certain now, he could almost remember the night before where his friend had passed him a bong and a bottle of what must've been alcohol; something hard, because he didn't drink a lot, maybe vodka or rum or whiskey or something of the sort. As he thought more about it and let his imagination run rampant, it may not have been alcohol at all, because he recalled brownies there as well, those could've had weed. Man, was that a wild night, a night so wild he could not remember it even happening and had imagined the whole scenario in his head. A night so wild that it was not real and just a product of his lack of memory and abundance of creativity.

Tao snapped her finger at him. "Alright, wizard, gimme the deets," she said. "I wanna know what's going on. Last I remember, I was in the woods with my girlfriend-- for purely scientific reasons, it was _not_ a date, a local had emailed me and said he saw Bigfoot in that forest and even got a few photos of some suspicious lookin' footprints." She took another swig of her ginger tea. "You make some _damn_ good leaf juice, but nevermind that, lemme continue. What's this place, huh? How'd we get here?"

"No idea," Orpheus didn't seem very affected by that fact. "I haven't been conscious much longer than you. I woke up and saw you on the ground, so my first instinct was to make a remedy for my headache, one I assumed you'd get as well." He shrugged halfheartedly. "Say, do you go to parties? I think I got hungover at a party, maybe they're playing a prank on us and dumped us off at some strange restaurant during closing time."

"Parties schmarties," Tao spat. "Never been to one. Not like, y'know, a party with _illicit substances._ I wouldn't be caught dead in a place you'd hang out in, wizard-boy," Ah, so he wasn't just a wizard anymore, but a boy, too. "Somethin' else is goin' on here, I think. It might involve…" Her voice got low, "the fae."

"Oh, the fae. Surely. Tell me, why do you think that?" Orpheus kept a level voice and a straight face, although his mind was focused on how absurd that idea was. He was no stranger to the supernatural, but even that felt out there to him.

"I'm sayin' that, well, you look like a larger fairy, and I was last in a forest deep in the thick of Pennsylvania. You ever been? The folklore and myths run heavy down there. I've had near-encounters with those pixies even, I think, and lemme tell you, they're damn tricksters," She shook her head. "Connivin' little bastards."

"I think your idea is valid, Tao-Yi, but I'd also like to consider other options," Orpheus decided to play the middleman, like the coward he was. He looked back down at his cup and took a sip of it.

It went silent after that, with Tao sitting there patiently, something Orpheus suspected she hadn't done before a day in her life. Something was on her mind, and he could only guess it was the mystery of the strange place they’ve woken up in. He saw her disoriented state and decided that _he_ should be the one to suggest something so it wasn’t so one-sided on her part. “Why don’t we get out of this restaurant?” He leaned his elbows onto the table. “I think it’d be better to figure out this situation we’re in, if we want to find any other possible answers...” Orpheus brushed off his verdant tunic and fastened his hat tightly onto his head. Tao followed him to the door, to which Orpheus had to put effort into opening, like the establishment had been sitting there for a while, but luckily, it was out of the diner and into the streets for the two of them. 

* * *

Calpurnia woke up with the feeling of water lapping her fingertips, her eyes fluttering open to reveal that she had been sprawled out on a wooden dock, her arm dangling off the edge. The smell of salt stung her eyes for a moment, though the sting quickly changed to a strange feeling of excitement. It was… an ocean of some sort, and she felt almost like she belonged in it. Once she had come to her senses a bit more, she rolled over onto her back, only to see a tall, lanky, and quite frankly terrifying figure looming above her. She could only make out a silhouette, but just the sight of it sent a shiver down her spine. Calpurnia clenched her eyes shut, hoping that this nightmare-like creature might just disappear when she opened them. However, instead she felt a warm hand grasp her face, squeezing her cheek.

“Aloooooh-ha, aloha! No, you can’t go back to bed now, you’ve already woken up!” The figure spoke, a girl for sure. Wait, a girl? Calpurnia hesitantly opened her eyes, seeing the towering figure was in fact a girl, with poofy untamed brown hair and tanned skin. She had a grin on her face, and two of her teeth seemed to be a bit sharper than the others. Not to mention how _tall_ she was. Aye… Calpurnia was pretty tall, but this girl had to be at least six foot, probably taller. 

“Aye Aye, I’m awake!” Cal called out, trying to remove the girl’s hand from her face. “Gee, I’m pooped! Where… are we exactly?” She said after she had escaped from the girl’s grasp, brushing herself off and trying to see what exactly she was wearing..she still didn’t exactly know _who_ she was, more just her own name now. 

“Hm… Dunno! Oh! Would you like a mirror?” The towering girl replied,taking a step back and shaking her head a bit, a mirror falling from her hair and clattering down to the floor of the dock. Cal took a moment to process what exactly had just happened before reluctantly taking the mirror. She wasn’t really expecting the mirror to come from her _hair_ of all places, but it was pretty cool! Calpurnia rubbed the face of the mirror off with her sleeve before looking into it, seeing her green hair, about the color of a dark grass, and a small hat embroidered with an anchor on it placed gently on the left side of her head. 

“Well, thank you, land dweller.” She let her hand run across the small stitching in the hat, the smell of seawater filling her lungs suddenly giving her a more energized feeling. How could she have forgotten? She was Calpurnia Valerie, the Ultimate Sailor! Perhaps she had gotten a bit too tipsy and forgotten who she was, where she was, and pretty much everything about her? Yep! That must be it. With a satisfied nod, she handed the mirror back to the tall girl. 

“Wait, watch your step!” It took Calpurnia a second to realize that she was talking to her-- she looked down and then back up at the other girl, now with a confused dog-like head tilt as her expression. “That board’s rotting. If you walk on it, it’ll break. I know from personal experience,” she had a sprinkle of haughtiness in her voice.

“Oh, aye, I see,” Calpurnia tapped the board lightly with her foot then paced away from it. “Thank you-- er, If you… don’t mind me asking of course, who exactly _are_ you?” She looked up at the mysterious-haired girl. She raised a brow, a grin appearing across her face as she placed the mirror back into her hair, it had disappeared completely..where in the world did it go?

“Me? Let me think…” She put her hands on her hips, pausing as if she really had to think about it. “Oh! The name’s Lahela Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele!” She spat out in one breath, seemingly proud of everything to do with the name. “You know, of the Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele Foundation! Or, well, people call us the Kei Foundation for short.” She had never heard of the Kei Foundation before, but she figured she’d ask later, when she had more answers than she did questions.

“Holy Mackerel..” Calpurnia’s eyes were wide. “I think-- if it is okay with you Miss Keiha…Keihan...”

“Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele,” Lahela curtly interjected.

“Right, can I just call you Kei?” Calpurnia asked, the long name seemingly tying knots in her brain. She was a sailor, not a scholar for heaven’s sake!

Lahela seemed to ponder the answer for a moment before answering, “Sure, I guess! Doesn’t pack as much of a _punch_ when you say it, but Kei has its charm too, dunnit?” She tapped her index finger to her cheek. “So, what exactly do you think we’re supposed to be doing here?! I mean, I woke up a few minutes before you! On this very beach--”

“On the beach? With all that sand?” Calpurnia interjected.

“Yes.. _on the beach_ , that’s what I said… which is kinda fitting since I’m the Ultimate Beachcomber, so our kidnappers are actually very generous!” Lahela lit up.

“Hold on, hold on lassie--” Calpurnia stuck her hands out to stop her. “What’s all this scuttlebutt about kidnappers?” She laughed nervously. “I mean we can’t be kidnapped, we’re not tied up… in a dark basement or something like that?” Calpurnia tried to reason with the tall girl who only sighed, her hands on her hips firmly.

“Well, do you see a boat? Or _any_ way to get off of this place? There’s not a single boat at this dock!! We’re trapped, doomed forever!!” The girl replied with a bit of sass, causing Calpurnia to tightly press her lips together. 

“Aye, you’re right lassie… there’s no one else docked here, but does that mean we’re the only ones here?” Cal fiddled with the small wooden whistle affixed to a chain she wore around her neck. Lahela only shrugged, not really knowing their situation herself. Then, as if almost on cue, both of the girls heard two more sets of footsteps creak against the docks.

* * *

Daichi and Rajasi had been the two people to lead the rest of the group, much to Kirisuto’s dismay. Daichi had let the annoying kid feel his daily pang of pride by telling him to watch the back of the group to make sure no one had attacked from the back, and it seemed to work, so Daichi paid little mind to the Hero from there. As they walked around, Daichi heard the faint murmurings of people towards the water. From the things he had observed so far, he knew there was only a ⅛ probability that it was something other than more Ultimate Students. Rajasi seemed to notice the murmuring too, as they stopped in his tracks, turning towards Daichi.

“Friend, it seems as if your ears have caught the same lead as I… we should go examine this, yes?” They gave Daichi that same strange and unsettling grin they had earlier, and to avoid any sort or arguments with this strange… person, he thought it was in his best interests to agree. Daichi followed Rajasi all the way to where the noise seemed to be coming from, Onyomi, Pierre, and Kirisuto in tow. Not long after they started walking, they found two girls standing on a dock, seemingly acting as if nothing was wrong at all. Daichi and Rajasi stepped onto the dock while the others stayed behind, Pierre noticeably taking a good twenty steps away from the water. Daichi was about to approach them when he heard an ear piercing whistle throughout the air, him covering his ears tightly with a small yelp.

The green haired sailor stepped forward, the small wooden whistle in her mouth still. She removed it from between her lips, looking down at the statistician. “Aye, I thought this only worked on dogs!” She lit up, looking around at everyone else who was seemingly unaffected by her blowing on the whistle. 

Daichi said through a strained voice, “I have _sensitive ears_ , miss. Please do not do that again.”

“Hold it!” Kirisuto emerged from the back of the crowd-- the exact opposite of what Daichi had told him to do earlier, but whatever-- and started doing his usual shouting bit. “It is my duty as a protector of the people to prevent any harm from coming to citizens! And you have clearly harmed this particular specimen here! What say you?”

“Well, I didn’t mean it, lad,” Calpurnia said defensively. “Back up, What’re you talking about, a ‘protector of the people’?” She crossed her arms, “Sounds like a bunch of baloney to me.”

“I’m glad you asked! I am the legendary Kirisuto Han, protector of the weak, savior to the harmed, and bringer of justice! Also known as the Ultimate Hero.” Daichi felt a wave of deja-vu. He definitely said the same thing when the redhead introduced himself to him a while back. What a… tacky, repetitive little man. “For now, I’ll accept your apology. But I’ve got my eye on you!”

Calpurnia squinted her eyes. “Listen, Kiri, yer talkin’ to Calpurnia Valerie, Ultimate Sailor, n’ I can be louder than you!” She let out a large guffaw.

“And I’m Lahela Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele!!” Lahela belted out. Daichi did a double take at her last name-- Keihana… Ikukauaka, something, something. Even he was lost in that letter salad, which was a hard feat to pull on someone like him.

“Hey, Kei! Don’t one up me here! I’m trying to prove a point to this firecracker!” Cal yelled back in response. Everything was getting progressively louder, which made his breath shake with unease. That whistle was _really_ loud, but it might have some competition coming soon in the loudness department.

“Mademoiselles, S'il vous plaît, lower your voices to an, how you say, moderate tone, please.” Pierre had the slightest twinge of anger in his tone, but hid it masterfully. “My name is Pierre Lamaree, and I am the Ultimate Film Director You may have heard of my work, perhaps, like Whispers To the Distant Shore, or Rosemary Blossoms?”

Lahela shook her head disappointedly. “Wait, you’re an Ultimate too?” Lahela cocked her head. “Okay, this is becoming way too many Ultimates, guys. Something’s up here!”

“We’re actually, um, _all_ Ultimates,” Onyomi smiled politely at Lahela. “My name Onyomi, I’m the Ultimate Translator.” She motioned for the rest of the group to introduce themselves, which they promptly did so.

“See, told you, Cal,” Lahela doted on the much shorter girl. “Kidnappers. _Deeefinitely_ kidnappers. No other reason for a bunch of Ultimates on an island like this with no recollection of how they got there.”

“And it doesn’t seem like anyone else is here,” Rajasi added, making themselves comfortable by sitting down at the pier, long legs dangling above the water. “You’d think in a town you’d find some people, wouldn’t you, friends? But there’s no one. It’s like performing surgery on a patient and finding they have no organs.”

“Aye, that’s true,” Calpurnia put a hand to her chin, seemingly not unnerved by Rajasi’s way of speaking. “I’ve been shipwrecked plenty of times but never have I found something so unexpectedly quiet like this.” Daichi felt a smile twitch on his face-- ‘unexpectedly quiet’ wasn’t how he’d describe this island a few moments ago.

“Citizens! Do you think, maybe… This place was _built_ for us?” Kirisuto proposed, which made the rest of the group go quiet.

“That’s preposterous,” Daichi said. “Let me ask, how long ago were you all given your Ultimate title by Hope’s Peak Academy?” ‘A month ago’ was the resounding answer. “In just 43800 minutes, do you think that whoever the perpetrator of this was could’ve built an entire island?”

“Yeah, stupid face,” Lahela pointed her finger at Kirisuto. “Stop saying such stupid things that make no stupid sense.”

“Hey, well, now you guys are just making me look bad--!” Kirisuto said, exasperated. “That’s not-- not what I meant. Like… Could this be some sort of resort for Ultimate students?” He asked.

“I think we would have heard about it then,” Daichi scoffed.

“Oh, yeah, I guess… You’re right…” The spiky-haired boy looked a little dejected. 

“Cheer up, monsieur,” Pierre put a hand on his back. “Not all of us can be winners, non?”

“Uh, if I may add something-- since we were all told we were Ultimates a month ago, does that mean we’re in the same class?” Onyomi asked quietly.

“Oh! Oh! We probably are!” Calpurnia’s eyes brightened. “Ain’t that exciting? It’s nice to finally meet you fellas, but not in these confusing circumstances.” She went around and shook each person’s hand vigorously.

“How many people are there to a class again?” Lahela thought out loud. “Sixteen! It’s sixteen, And there are… Seven of us here.”

“We’re looking for nine more then, non?” Pierre crossed his arms. “Wow, numbers are much simpler in English,” he commented to himself.

“Indeed they are, friend,” Rajasi’s smile creeped up on their face. “Where to next, then?”

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! we have been working on this fanganronpa for ages now, so we hope you appreciate our hard work!! thank you for reading  
> if you'd like to follow our social medias for further updates on this fangan, we're drdefactocarnage on both tumblr and instagram B)


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